Oh Friday!!!! Not that there is anything great planned for the weekend but with a sick babe, mama needs some back up! And maybe even a Soul Cycle session and DryBar blowout in my future!!
On top of a sick babe, I have had a lot on my mind lately. A lot about this space (we'll get to that another day) but mainly about my little lady and emotions of a baby milestone that most preemie mom's have. On Tuesday we had our reevaluation test for Early Intervention. Completely silly how I bawled my eyes out while nursing my baby girl after the "observation". She had tested out of the program.
She impressed the crap out of the incredible team that sat down with her a year ago (a year in a few weeks). Not only were they thrilled with her but said such sweet things about the work we've done to get this little lady caught up, so of course I am so excited, proud and happy.
But a part of me had been dreading this day. Dreading reliving the emotions that I felt a year ago when this same group of professionals told me my baby wasn't perfect.
Wait, let me take that back real quick. They didn't say that, and early intervention is an incredible tool that I could not have survived the last year without but when they evaluated Zoe and said she qualified for the program and would have some developmentally delay (which most preemie's do) I heard: YOUR BABY IS NOT PERFECT.
So today when she dazzled them with all of her words, animal recognition, animal sounds, imitation, walking, social butterfly ways my heart was so damn full. We have come full circle. The work aiding your child's development as a parent is never over, I know that. And I'll continue to use every tool out there to make sure she has all the tools she needs but in EI world, she has come full circle and beyond.
Most of you mama's out there may not know about this milestone but to those that do, you know how much this means. How there are no words to describe how having a preemie baby affects you, especially when prematurity means they have to fight to survive. And ok that sounds dramatic but it is dramatic. It is dramatic and hard and exhausting and scary to think that something may be wrong with your baby, so this day is one of the biggest milestones in our life.
I have to give credit to "my village" for supporting us in this crazy journey. To my family, O's family, my new mom friends and some of my past life best friends, to Alyssa our case worker, our pedi, and Z's "teachers", without you guys we would not be here today. And to O, my partner in crime, my baby daddy, my heart; you listened to me rant in a scared fury, you calmed my fears and always urge me to follow my heart and instincts, I simply can't imagine doing this whole mama thing without you.
Having a preemature baby changes you. No one can truly prepare you for your journey but connecting with other mama's who have been there truly has helped me. So to all of you special mama's (especially you Julia!) that also had preemie babies and took the time to email, text or call with advice, postive words/energy or simply listened and let me be sad and scared without shaming me, thank you, thank you, thank you a million times, without you my heart would never have truly healed.
Of course we met this milestone with Zoe being the sickest we've ever seen her. Because that's how it goes, right? ha!! It has been quite the week over here and with a very sick baby who is barely eating, mama has to try and cram in some good stuff into the one food she will eat. This time it has been muffs or muffins. Super simple recipe and honestly I ate them with my coffee every morning too and they were delicious.